Friday, April 15, 2011

JOSH JOHNSON: BRINGER OF NIGHTMARES



For those keeping score at home, the Marlins have now won three of the four series they've played this season. Their only series loss? Opening weekend against the Mets. Who happen to have lost 7 of 9 8 of 10 since. Go figure. (Note: Sorry for the error. Tracking the Mets futility is more complicated than it seems sometimes.) The Marlins now find themselves in second place in the NL East, which is really all any of the other four teams are playing for this season. I mean, really, have you been paying attention to what the Phillies have been doing the last two days?

Also, Josh Fucking Johnson.

Don't worry about...

Having lost Dan Uggla. It's still way too early to jump to any crazy conclusions about anyone's worth, but in his last 23 at-bats, Uggla has just two hits. Two. Hits. At this point, he'd need hiking boots and rope to reach the Mendoza Line. Now, tell me you wouldn't be freaking the fuck out if this were happening only a few months after the Marlins had overspent to keep him around. Yeah, I thought so. Love your Infante. Cherish him.

Be worried about...

Leo Nunez. But, you're a Marlins fan, so you probably already knew that.

This weekend
. I don't know if you're paying attention or not, but the Phillies are really really good. Like, REALLY good. In fact, if the Marlins were to lose all three, it probably wouldn't phase me. I've written off every game the Marlins play against the Phillies this year as a loss. Similar to when I was in high school and just assumed I failed every test. That way, even when I got a C, I was fucking ecstatic.

Be terrified of...

Um, this weekend. The Phillies are 4th in the league in runs scored. They've put up 7 or more runs five times already. And, oh yeah, they're getting the back end of the Marlins rotation. If you were trying to plan a mini-vacation, but were afraid of missing any Marlins games, this might be the weekend to take the kids to Disney World.

Photo of the Series



"Tie game. Bases loaded. The snap from Sanches. Brooks Conrad drops back, looks left, scrambles right, spots a man downfield, airs it out deep down the middle to the endzoooooooooone... TOUCHDOWN COGHLAN!!!"

(Best if imagined in Gus Johnson's voice.)

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