Friday, April 8, 2011


I normally don't have time to post more than one item a day around here, but I thought today might be the day I make the exception.

Tim Ryan at The Big Lead (or Big Lead Sports, or whatever the hell that shithole of a site is called these days) wrote a rundown of yesterday's happenings in Major League Baseball. He concluded his piece with this line:

Nationals 5, Marlins 3, 11 innings — Many people abhor the whole attendance discussion, but if you saw highlights of this game, you couldn’t help but feel depressed. What a joke. It’s possible the following video had more fans in attendance:

Yes. A Marlins attendance joke. How very original. And when called out?

Awfully dismissive, thin-skinned blogger guy. You made a lazy, shitty joke. It's okay to own up to it.

Honestly, though, fuck you for thinking it's "a continued embarrassment." What's more embarrassing? Empty seats or morons like you who feel the need to make the same joke over and over, as if it will magically become funny the 452nd time around? Lemme guess, nobody goes to Marlins games? Man, you might be onto something. Shall I pull your finger, too?

As for your second tweet, you wanna know why I can put that line in the title of my post (and even include a photo in the post, itself)? Because it's not my only fucking joke. It's buried beneath a mountain of other jokes I make about this team on a daily basis. When I make a Marlins attendance joke, it's the jalapeƱo on my heaping pile of Marlins joke chicken nachos. When you make a Marlins attendance joke, it's because you're too fucking lazy to figure out anything else about the franchise to poke fun at. It sits right there in your pocket next to "Phillies fans throw batteries. ZING!" and "Yankees spend a lotta money. HUZZAH!"

Seriously, if you're going to make a joke at the Florida Marlins expense, maybe you could spend more than five seconds thinking of something witty, because that hacky shit just ain't gonna cut it. And if you are going to make that tired joke, at least close it with a funnier, more appropriate video.


  1. Just found your site yesterday, love it. Totally agree the jokes are hacky, I wonder what they will come with next year, when hopefully have above average attendance. I look at the bright side when it comes to the attendance though, where else in the league can you take a piss and grab a beer between innings and still make it back in your seat before the start play back up?

  2. It obviously sucks that people don't go to the games, but whatever. It's been 15+ years. It's more amusing than it is embarrassing at this point. And yes, I too have been spoiled by short food lines and plenty of legroom.