Monday, April 18, 2011

SWIMFAN 2, STARRING LOGAN MORRISON AND PHILLIES NATION


(click to enlarge)

So, someone did this to Logan's Wikipedia entry this weekend.

Ladies, remember when you met that guy at Starbucks? He wasn't all that cute, but he was really sweet and helped you carry your shit to your car. Then, you were like, "He's a sweetie. I think I'll see if he wants to hang out. You know, as friends." So, you hung out once, but found out you didn't really have anything in common and the whole night was awkward, so you didn't really plan on doing it again. Then, you woke up the next morning and saw that he sent you a friend request on Facebook. You accept. I mean, he's still the nice guy who helped you out that day. The next day, he sends you a message telling you he had a really nice time and can't wait to see you again. Tonight? You politely tell him you're busy. Tomorrow night? "I can't, I have to mow my lawn." What about Thursday? "Um, uh, my best friend is moving to Zaire, so I have to help her pack." Okay then, next weekend. He's not getting the hint. Then he starts taking over your Facebook page, leaving comments on every one of your pictures, inviting you to be his neighbor on Farmville. It's out of fuckin control. He's a nice guy, so you don't wanna be mean, but at what point do you call the cops because there's a good chance he might show up at your door with flowers and a machete?

That's kinda how I feel about Philly fans' creepy stalking of Logan Morrison. Guys, we get it, you gave him the nickname #sharktits, but it's getting to be a little much, don't ya think? At this point, it wouldn't surprise me at all if Omar Infante's severed head turned up in a basket on LoMo's door with a haiku attached:

I didn't want to,
But now you can bat second,
I DID THIS FOR YOU!

Jesus, just let it go. It's pathetic. It's unhealthy.

And I'm not saying I condone this type of childish retaliation, but if Cliff Lee's Wikipedia entry were to suddenly have a section about his love of assless chaps, macramé, and the cock, well, there may or may not be some free beer in someone's future.

[via The Fightins]

No comments:

Post a Comment