Friday, April 1, 2011

WHAT'S YO' JAM, MIKE STANTON?



At-bat music. It's something that every player in Major League Baseball needs to have figured out prior to Opening Day. And with that date rapidly approaching, Strip Club With Stanton would like to offer it's assistance to any Marlins who might still be having trouble selecting their musical accompaniment. So, all this week, we'll be throwing out some ideas for some of your favorite Marlins. If you've got your own suggestions, feel free to leave them in the comments section.

Who? Mike Stanton

What? Enormous Penis by Da Vinci's Notebook



Why? Do the words "MONSTER DONG" mean nothing to you?

Pertinent lyrics:

"I gotta sing and I dance
When I glance in my pants
And the feeling's like a sunshiney day...
I take a look at my enormous penis
And everything is going my way."

It's true. When Mike Stanton is having a shitty day at the plate, he just pulls at his elastic waistband, checks his junk and then smacks the next pitch over the left field wall. Pay attention. You'll see him do it at least 437 times this season. Which would probably set some kind of home run record. And a crotch-checking record, too.

2 comments:

  1. Suggestions...I haz them...


    Big Pimpin' (Jay-Z)
    Dear Penis (Rodney Carrington)
    My Dick (Mickey Avalon)
    Face Down, Ass Up (2Live Crew)
    Magic Stick (Missy Elliot)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have just downloaded iStripper, so I can have the hottest virtual strippers on my desktop.

    ReplyDelete