Thursday, May 26, 2011

WHY THE WEST COAST BLOWS



The Marlins have now won two in a row against the San Francisco Giants. Clutch Money hit a homer in the first game and went four for six in the second. Omar Infante is finally getting lucky and Leo Nunez's luck finally ran out. Scott Cousins fucked up Buster Posey's shit. And you know how much I've seen of it? NONE. Why? Because both games started after I was already dreaming of plowing a gaggle of large-breasted Asian women.

10:00pm? Jesus, fuck. I remember when I used to go to the bar to watch Monday Night Football, come home at like two in the morning drunk off my ass, wake up and go to work the next day with no problem. But, that's when I worked at the JCC. Once you're in the real world, that shit is fucking impossible. Ever try staring at a computer screen for eight hours while the room is spinning and you're trying to hold down a stomach full of cheese fries and chicken wings? Just an awful, awful feeling.

So, fuck the Giants, because there isn't a chance in hell that I catch any of their regular season home games. Not if the Marlins are involved. Not if midget strippers are involved.

Also of importance: I'll be spending this weekend just outside of Los Angeles. So, too, will the Marlins. I won't be watching any of those games either, though, because there are wedding festivities to partake in. Like drinking. A lot. And eating at Roscoe's. And drinking some more. Needless to say, there will be no postings until I get back. But, if you think there's some food I should try or something I should see while I'm out there, hit me up on Twitter: @BoobiesNStanton.

See you guys on Wednesday. Hopefully, I'm not dead by then.

1 comment:

  1. I've just downloaded iStripper, so I can have the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.

    ReplyDelete