Monday, May 23, 2011
YOUR POST-RAPTURE WEEKEND ROUND-UP
I'm not exactly what one would call religious, so I don't know all that much about the rapture that was supposed to be going down this past weekend, but I do know that some crazy shit happened. So, in the spirit of everyone else on the internet making rapture correlations when they probably don't know what a rapture is either, I'm going to blame these crazy things on the rapture, as well...
Javy Vazquez. 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 H, 2 BB, 7 K. Go ahead, explain that one. I'll wait.
Josh Johnson. My worst fears came true this weekend, as Cyborg Josh Johnson heads back to Cyberdyne for repairs. Jay Buente filled in. Which is sort of like Skynet replacing Arnold Schwarzenegger with the Gilbert Gottfried T-350.
Omar Infante. After being about as Omar Infante as one could possibly be – going three games without a hit – Omar Infante finally did something very not Omar Infante... he homered. But, don't worry. He's still having one of his worst years ever, so the t-shirts are no less relevant.
@LoMoDimples. It took a while, but Dimps and I may have finally buried the hatchet. Though, that doesn't mean I don't still hate the OeOeO! and #IBelieveInLeoNunez nonsense, so tread lightly, ape boy.
PHOTO OF THE SERIES
Millionaire athletes giving dorky high fives, while a balding, middle-aged white man in a polo shirt anxiously awaits a fist bump. This photo says everything you need to know about baseball.