Thursday, June 9, 2011


After losing their 439th consecutive game, the Marlins did what any team would've done. They placed the onus squarely on a man who had nothing to do with any of it: hitting coach, John Mallee. Nicely done, boys!

Teams do this type of stupid shit all the time and the reasoning behind it never makes any sense. Say that you truly believe that Mallee is responsible for this recent slump, a slump which at one point saw the Marlins score zero runs in 20+ innings. If you genuinely feel that Mallee was responsible for that whole mess, don't you also have to believe that he was responsible for Emilio Bonifacio batting like .350 through the first two months of the season? If you're going to blame him for Mike Stanton's struggles, don't you also have to credit him for the 13 homers he's hit so far this year?

Hanley isn't struggling because his hitting coach sucks. Especially since this would be the same hitting coach that saw him bat .300 last year. Now, all of a sudden, Mallee doesn't know what the hell he's doing?

Of course, all of this depends on whether or not you believe he has anything to do with any of this, the good or the bad. The answer, of course, is that he doesn't. These are Major League Baseball players. There isn't much about batting that you can teach them that they don't already know. But, the Marlins are in the middle of their worst stretch of baseball in a long time, and somebody needed to take the blame. The reality is that nobody needed to, but management always needs to be appeased somehow, and the best way to do that is to fire a random employee who means nothing to the team. An usher, the popcorn guy, some woman in customer service; any of them would've been fine. Just so long as someone in the front office gets to slam his hand down on a desk, yell, "FIRE THAT ASSHOLE!" and then masturbate underneath his desk to his own awesome display of power.

In the end, the Marlins chose John Mallee, the lowly hitting coach, to be that asshole.

Sorry, John. Just the way it is.

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