Tuesday, June 14, 2011

YOU KNOW WHAT SUCKS? JUNE. JUNE SUCKS.





At some point, in the beginning of the NBA Finals, I changed my Twitter avatar. The stick figure Marlins player bending over the stick figure female Phillies fan was fun, but I needed to support my hometown basketball team in their quest to become the most hated champions in the history of sports. And so, right after the Heat beat the Mavericks in Game 1, I switched my avatar to the hybrid Marlins/Heat logo you see on the page today. From that point on, from June 1, 2011 till now, the Heat went 1-4 to lose the NBA Finals and the Marlins have gone 1-11.

TOTAL. FUCKING. COLLAPSE.

Thank God the Dolphins aren't playing right now, because not only would they have lost their last two games, but their franchise quarterback would've suffered a devastating knee injury. Wait, they don't have...? Oh, never mind. You get the point, though.

I know Hanley and JJ are out, but this is fucking insane. After last night's meltdown, Ricky Nolasco's ERA is, like, 17.0282. (It's true. I did the math.)

So, here's the deal. At some point in the next day or two, I'm going to change that flaming Marlins logo, even though I can't think of a more perfect way to describe what's happening to the team right now. But, I'm taking suggestions as to what the new one should be, so hit me up with suggestions in the comments section, or on Twitter (@BoobiesNStanton), or via email (stripclubwithstanton[at]gmail[dot]com).

Let's fix this shit right now because it's either my fault or it's the month of June. And I don't know that I can petition the world to make June end on the 15th, so it better be me. Otherwise, we're in for another loooooooooong two weeks.

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