Friday, July 8, 2011


While we're tracking the progress of Hanley Ramirez's futility, we may as well check in on Chief Big Dick, as well. Introducing the Stantongasm Meter®, an original SCWS design (from the same great minds that brought you the Han-Ram Suck-O-Meter™) that uses a highly complex, scientifically-backed, advanced algorithm to measure the true impact of Mike Stanton's production with remarkable accuracy.

Let's try it out.

Game winning homer on Wednesday night? Two-run homer on Thursday night? Ahhhhhhh yeaaaaaaaah. We're approaching a full-blown STANTONGASM!!!

1 comment:

  1. Nice work, but how will you measure what happens when he goes Walk-Off Grand Salami and whatever the viscous fluid contained within the Stantongasm meter explodes out the top? Do we all just drown or melt into a gelatinous pool of collective afterglow?