Monday, July 25, 2011


In the least surprising news ever, the Marlins optioned Chris Volstad to Triple-A New Orleans. In reality, it wasn't much of an option at all. When you suck that badly, it isn't considered an option so much as it's considered the only option.

Of course, the person you should be thanking for this is Clay Hensley. Before Hensley entered the equation, Marlins' brass couldn't do anything with Volstad or Javy Vazquez, other than continue to throw them out there, watch them give up handfuls of runs, and subsequently bash their heads against the wall because they knew they had no other options. But, with Henlsey pitching well and Vazquez not being completely terrible lately, the Marlins could afford to send Volstad away for a while. And, holy fuck, is that awesome!

So, thank you, Marlins and thank you, Clay Hensley. But, more importantly, RIP, Chris Volstad. Jokes at your expense will be missed. You, on the other hand, will not.


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  2. I'll bet we find out in a little while just how bad Clay Hensley is as a starter as well. It's not going to last long.

    - Michael Jong

  3. It's like buying a new Kia to replace your old Hyundai. You know that the Kia is a piece of shit, but at least it's a NEW piece of shit!

    And in a year we can trade it for a 1978 Chevy Nova!!!