Wednesday, August 24, 2011


The Leo Coaster derailed last night, killing 53 children and a small puppy. Hurricane Irene – which isn't actually a hurricane for South Florida, I don't think – is forcing the Marlins to play a doubleheader today. And, oh hey, look, Logan Morrison is back, so that's happening today, too!

Listen, now that LoMo's back, maybe everyone can stop acting like fucking douches, okay? Logan can stop being such a me-me-me asshole, management can stop whipping out its dick and showing everyone how big it is, and fans can stop acting like whiny bitches over every trivial little thing the front office does. Jesus Fucking Christ, people. Let's get our shit together and act like a real franchise, shall we? That sound like something we can all make happen?


One other note: You may have noticed that I took a brief hiatus from Marlins Daily. That's because my job wanted me to do some actual work and shit. The fuck is their problem, anyway? You probably didn't even miss me, but I'm back. And my post today is so full of Bleacher Report swag that even Bleacher Report is jealous. It's awful. I'm warning you now. This is what happens when your team isn't any kind of relevant and there are still 40 games left in a miserable season that feels like it'll never end. BAD THINGS. BAD THINGS HAPPEN. I'll try to be better going forward. No promises, though. This part of the season is brutal when you aren't allowed to curse.

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