Friday, September 9, 2011

THE ONLY PIRATES YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING THIS WEEKEND ARE THESE PIRATES



Last night, the Marlins didn't play... and it was magical. Because the Saints and Packers did, which means that it's now officially football season and you can slowly begin to forget about the last three months of miserable Marlins baseball and start thinking about the next three months of miserable Dolphins football! HOORAY!

Of course, that doesn't mean that you can forget about the Marlins altogether. Just, that you're allowed to skip the occasional series. Like this next one against the Pirates. I mean, really, who the fuck is watching three mid-September Marlins/Pirates games? But, if you do plan on watching them, here's a little something to get you all riled up and pissed off at a franchise nobody cares about...

From Post-Gazette beat writer Michael Sanserino:
For the last time ever, the Pirates will play host to the Florida Marlins.

No, the Marlins aren't being contracted. Although some days, it appears they should.

OOOOH BURN!!! Yes, that zinger was brought to you by a beat writer from a team ranked 21st in the league in attendance that hasn't finished above .500 in almost 20 years. TWENTY FUCKING YEARS. The last time that abomination of a franchise was any good, I was trying to get girls to show me their tits in a Prodigy chat room. So, you know, maybe hold off on the jokes until you're not the autistic kid making fun of the retarded boy.

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