Former Marlins outfielder, World. Series. Champion. and guy with the cutest butt in the majors, Cody Ross, signed a one-year, $3 million contract with the Boston Red Sox, making this the most obvious move in the history of baseball. Ever.
For a player like Cody, Boston was about as perfect a destination as he was going to find. Fans will love his hustle (his whiteness), media will love his attitude (his whiteness), and the team will love his grittiness and determination (his whiteness and whiteness).
According to ESPN.com:
Ross figures to be given every chance to leap ahead of Darnell McDonald in a potential platoon in right field and will come to camp hoping to convince new Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine that he should play every day ahead of Ryan Sweeney.Of course, he will. Darnell never stood a chance.