Friday, February 3, 2012

SCWS CLASS PARTY: YOU'D TOTALLY HAVE SEX WITH A CARTOON



After a long week of not getting anything done at work because you were reading blogs about sports and stick figures all day, you must be exhausted. Totally understandable. That's why every Friday afternoon, SCWS will be throwing a huge party to celebrate. Kinda like in 3rd grade, when your teacher would completely give up on trying to teach you fractions and instead just bring in pizza and show movies all day and then you'd go home at 2:30. Yeah, those days were awesome. Enjoy.

What we're watching...



The Road to El Dorado

While this might not be one of DreamWorks more popular movies, it did bring us the hottest cartoon character ever seen in a kid's movie. Most people would choose Belle or Ariel (human form, obviously), but they're way too white and plain for me. Seriously, look at Chel. Look at those hips. How do you even begin to say no to that? Maybe it has something to do with being born and raised in Miami, but—MY GOD THOSE CURVES. I'd be lying if I told you that I've never busted out the tube sock over this cartoon character. Hell, I just masturbated three times while writing this.

Further proof:





What we're snacking on...



Warheads

Ever put two Warheads in your mouth at the same time to try and prove you were a badass 10-year-old, only it was way too sour, so you wanted to spit them out, but you thought you had a reputation to protect, so you toughed it out and suffered for those few minutes, pretended like it was no big deal, then ran to the bathroom and threw the fuck up? Yeah, me either.



What we're listening to...



Soul Asylum - "Runaway Train"

In eighth grade, I took a drama class and one of the assignments was to choose a song, learn the words and put on a lip sync performance in front of the entire class. Despite what you might think, I'm not the crazy, outgoing guy I apparently come across as in my writing. I'm actually pretty shy and keep to myself. So, yeah, I was terrified.

For over a week, I sat backwards on a chair in front of a mirror and practiced this song until I built up the courage and had every aspect of the performance down. From every word, to the raw emotion in my facial expressions, I was ready. I was gonna nail it. Then, as the student before me trotted out yet another sleep-inducing performance, I turned to the black kid sitting next to me and said, "Hey, you wanna do 'Whoomp! There It Is?' with me?"

And so, without any practice (I barely even knew the kid's name. It was probably Jerome.), the two of us went crazy and whoomp'd the shit out of that drama class with one of the most godawful songs known to man.

Also, who shops in a store and leaves their baby outside? Is this something people used to do?

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