Monday, March 26, 2012
WARNING: WATCHING THIS VIDEO MAY CAUSE TEMPORARY BLINDNESS, PANTS-SHITTING
So here it is. The video you've all been waiting for. Jeffrey Loria's Technicolor Nightmare in motion. It's terrible and it's wonderful and it's all of your emotions, the good and the bad, all rolled into one. Let's over-analyze!
It ain't so bad... Seeing this thing in cartoon renderings did nothing to help its appeal. The fact is, in real life, with real human eyes, it isn't as bright and flashy as the original drawings made it out to be. I was expecting a lot more neon and maybe Pitbull song accompaniment. Luckily, I got none of that. And if you try to imagine the video above in the context of an actual game, with the crowd noise and excitement that generally surrounds a home run, this thing probably isn't going to take center stage, so that's nice. Hopefully, it'll just be that big awkward thing that people happen to notice while they're high-fiving each other.
Unfotunately... It's going to be that big awkward thing that people happen to notice while they're high-fiving each other. There's no getting around how ridiculous this contraption is. Less is usually more, but in this case, I can't even imagine more being more. There is no more more. Jeffrey Loria and Red Grooms used up all the more in the universe to bring this preposterous piece of "artwork" to life. Eventually, it will become self-aware, grow legs, break free from the ballpark and take over the world.
I mean, I guess I won't hate it... But I'm not going to love it either. Marlin Rainbow Unicorn Mountain will surely be my new Emilio Bonifaco. And I still don't know if that's good or bad.