Thursday, March 8, 2012

WE WERE ALL WRONG ABOUT DAVID SAMSON, EVEN THOUGH WE'RE STILL PROBABLY A LITTLE RIGHT



Yesterday, Deadspin and a bunch of other places ran with a story about David Samson calling the city of Miami stupid. Unfortunately, according to Will Manso, the quotes they ran with were pretty much taken out of context. Oops!

To help all those news outlets who may be scrambling for a retraction today, I thought I'd write one for you, save you the trouble. Just copy/paste and you're good to go:

Dear readers,

Yesterday, we informed you that David Samson was an elitist asshole who thought of the city of Miami as a melting pot of idiocy. We were wrong. Those quotes were taken completely out of context and we apologize to David Samson and anyone else who may have been affected by this misrepresentation of the truth. We are so very sorry for any problems this unfortunate error may have caused.

However, David Samson is still a grade-A asshole. A sniveling little weasel who shouldn't ever be trusted. Maybe he didn't say what we said he said, but you know he totally meant what we said he said. He's a jerk. A scumbag. A piece of filth. If you see him on the street, you should grab him by the collar of his fluorescent pink shirt and punch him in his weaselly little face. He's a gnome. An entitled prick. And we have reason to believe he murdered a hooker in Opa Locka.

Again, we're deeply sorry for taking David's quotes out of context. Our bad.

Sincerely,

________________________

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