Wednesday, May 9, 2012

"FUCKING GROW UP, MOTHERFUCKER": AN INTERVIEW WITH PAUL GALLANT


Yesterday, Paul Gallant of 610 in Houston asked Ozzie Guillen about Fidel Castro. It went well. Ozzie did that thing where Ozzie Guillen goes all Ozzie Guillen, people pretended to be outragedOUTRAGED, I SAY!—and now, here we are. Where do I stand on this? Personally, I love every bit of it. I want fans and media members baiting Ozzie every chance they get and, dagnabbit, I want Ozzie to take that bait! An unhinged Ozzie Guillen makes for easy blogging. (It also make me love him more.) Plus, it allows me to do interviews like this, where I sit down trade emails with the man Ozzie called a "motherfucker" and ask him extraordinarily difficult questions about mustard. Hope you enjoy.



SCWS: Just between you and me (and the dozens upon dozens of readers of this site), that question was all part of your sinister plan to, um, well, I mean— Okay, why'd you ask a question about Fidel Castro, exactly? I don't even think local Cubans care anymore.


PG: It was his first time in Houston all year. What do people in Houston care about, who the Marlins closer will be the rest of the season, or what's going on with Ozzie a month after what was likely, to this point, the season's biggest off-the-field story? I figured reporters in San Diego, San Francisco, or New York would have asked the question by now, when he was in town. I guess I was wrong, though. (Haha!)

SCWS: And if you're going to go the Castro route, how do you not try and disguise it as a question about Jason Castro? I mean, the opportunity was sitting right there for you.

PG: He stormed away after I asked the question before turning around and saying "nice try" twice about 15 seconds later. But, I defnitely blew that opportunity. (Haha!)

SCWS: Now that you're sort of internet famous for a day, how do you plan on cashing in on your fifteen minutes? I say aim for Dancing with the Stars. I may or may not have connections, if that's your thing.

PG: I bought an iPhone while all of this was exploding on the internet, then got home to see all the commotion on my CPU. I'll be honest, the next couple of days I will probably be lost trying to figure out how that bad boy works. Maybe Apple will hire me to endorse the iPhone...

SCWS: You've been in the sports biz for roughly six years now. Rank your top three strangest moments. I'm assuming this one is up there. If not, this answer is going to be even better than I hoped.

PG: 1. Ozzie has got to be number one. It was an honor and privilege. I really have no problem with what he said, either. He's fiery, passionate, and one of the few legitimately entertaining figures in baseball. And he proved it right there. Its an unforgettable sports memory, up there with meeting Larry Bird before my first Celtics game.

2. I was sitting front and center for a Jim Boeheim press conference while in Syracuse, New York. This time I DIDN'T ask a question...I sat back and laughed. Boeheim exploded on two beat writers who pointed out that Louisville has owned Syracuse under Rick Pitino. Here's a pretty accurate account of what went down.

3. I was doing a sports talk show by myself in Syracuse. My co-host and call screener had called in sick so I was alone on an island. Without a call screener, I would just take whoever dialed up and pray it wasn't a prank caller. Right before my show was about to finish, I took a call, starting off with "What's your name, where you calling from?" It was our next show's host, who was apparently locked out of the station. He said, "This is [redacted] from Syracuse, can someone please let me the f--k in the station?". I pressed the dump button, but I'm still not sure if it went over the air or not. Luckily, I never got in any trouble about that. (Haha!)

SCWS: You can choose anyone (else) in sports to berate you in front of a camera. Who is it and what does he call you?

PG: Gotta be Bill Belichick. I've been a big Pats fan my whole life, but it would be pretty epic if I got the world's most monotone coach to get fiery and shout at me.

SCWS: Before I let you go, I have to know where you stand on this: yellow mustard or golden mustard?

PG: Not even a question. It's all about the golden. Horseradish for life.


 
Paul Gallant likes long walks on the beach, candle-lit dinners and, apparently, being called a motherfucker. When he's not dressing up as a superhero, you can find him on Sports Radio 610 in Houston, where he spends his days as a radio personality. You'll have to forgive him for being a Patriots fan and for liking golden mustard, but other than that, he seems like a pretty decent guy. Follow him on Twitter at @PaulGallant610.
 

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