Thursday, June 21, 2012

"JOHN BUCK HOMERS, INJURES SELF" ISN'T A JOKE I JUST MADE UP


Being John Buck must be pretty demoralizing these days. You're batting .168, which is almost impossible to do without being legally blind; you can't throw anyone out on the base paths (if you listen closely when a runner takes off from first, you can actually hear Buck say to himself, "Swiper, no swiping. Swiper, no swiping. Swiper, no—OH, C'MON!"); people are winning Photoshop contests at your expense; fans are mocking you with t-shirts…

Then, last night, after flying out in the 2nd inning and being robbed of a base hit in the 4th, something positive finally happened: Buck homered. A breakthrough of sorts…
Buck hit his fifth homer, a solo shot that made it 13-5 in the seventh, but immediately clutched his right hamstring and trotted slowly around the bases. He remained in the game before leaving for a pinch hitter in the ninth.
Of course he did.

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