Tuesday, June 5, 2012


Once upon a time, a man with a dream started a blog with the hopes of one day having that dream fulfilled. It was a pipe dream, but a dream nonetheless. That picture up there—which happens to have been the very first post to ever grace this here site—represents that dream.

Today, Strip Club With Stanton is about more than just hanging out at King of Diamonds with GIANCARLOCRUZMICHAELSTANTON. It's about monster dongs. And regression to the mean. And standing up against homophobia. And Steve Cishek's fiancé blocking me on Twitter. It's about all these things and more.

But, it all started with that picture...


Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, jackals. I want you to make me YOUR picture, YOUR dream. A little over a year ago, I wanted to go to the strip club with Mike Stanton. But, what do you want? You wanna go to the what with whom? You can use Photoshop, MS Paint, crayon and construction paper... whatever you want. Best one gets a pretty cool present. Like, pretty really cool. That's not even English. That's how cool it is.

Email your submissions to stripclubwithstanton@gmail.com ASAP, homeys.

Here's one to start you guys off...


This one above is titled "I Wanna Make Movies With @itsCARO_", who you may remember as our resident dispatch girl. I anxiously await his second submission, "I Just Received A Restraining Order From @itsCARO_".

Man, there's such a fine line between comedy and racism. I've towed this line before and I think I'm gonna side with the reader on this one: not racist! Mike Cameron is like blacker than black. He's like shadow black. This is indisputable fact. And, furthermore, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being that black. Pointing it out is merely an observation. Like, "Jack McKeon is really old." Or, "Nicole Richie needs to eat something." Now, had there been a floating bottle of Tahitian Treat in that picture... 

I'll let the reader who submitted this one explain:

For your approval I would like to submit my entry "I would like to go to Boomers Batting Cages with John Buck" to your photoshop contest. As you can see in the artwork, we are at the funnest place within a five mile radius of Sheridan Street and I-95, Boomers. John Buck is struggling and confused with hitting as usual and I am sad, but at least at Boomers we can ride go-karts after he is finished striking out.

And here is our first submission that isn't 100% stick figures. It's titled "I Want To Go To A Frat Party And Date Rape Bitches With Logan Morrison". This may or may not have been sent in by Bryan Petersen. This also may or may not be something the two of them actually do on the weekends...

This one is called "I Want To Go Hipstering With @James_Bondman". I don't believe that's the actual James T. Bondman we all know and love (and if it is, OMGGGG!!!), but that doesn't make this submission any less wonderful.

Keep em comin' folks...

1 comment:

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