Thursday, June 14, 2012
JUST SAY NO TO CLONING JOHN BUCK
With a two year old sleeping in my TV room, I decided to open up the laptop and catch up on some Pretty Little Liars. I didn't pay much attention to baseball talk for the night because I already knew the Marlins left the windows open. What I didn't know was that Bud Selig has been secretly cloning John Buck in an attempt to manufacture interest in Major League Baseball. See for yourself...
Last night, R.A. Penis threw a one-hitter that the Mets plan on appealing, because they're the Mets and they're from New York, and New Yorkers are insufferable, so they have to complain like assholes about a hit in the first inning that may or may not have taken a lot of the pressure off of R.A. Cock, since throwing a no-hitter is probably a lot easier when you don't actually think you're throwing a no-hitter anymore, because you're not.
Also last night, Matt Kane found time between wrestling the Undertaker and having an awkward love interest with Lita (current references, FTW!) to throw the 22nd perfect game in MLB history. Some are calling it the greatest game ever, but I still think Pop-O-Matic Trouble holds that crown.
And what does it all mean? It means that either pitching has become the easiest thing ever, or MLB is cloning John Buck. That's the only explanation for the 2012 season and the Mets having 1.962 no-hitters in the last month alone. Bud Selig must be stopped. We cannot allow Major League Baseball to mass produce pop-ups and ground outs for the sake of pitcher glory. It's not right. It's not fair.
Cloning John Buck is wrong. Just say no.