Thursday, August 23, 2012


Take a quick look at the Marlins and you'll realize that this baseball season has gone to shit; John Buck is batting .003, the supposed centerpiece of the organization's future is now, like, the third best player on the Dodgers, and as we head down the homestretch of this godawful 2012 season, the Miami lineup is filled with things called Ruggianos and Solanos. It sort of feels like 2011 all over again.

The one positive thing about this year--besides GIANCARLOCRUZMICHAELSTANTON, of course--is that the organization has been very generous to me, far more generous than they've needed to be. Between the Clevelander inviting me out for an evening of drinks and lady parts, and the Marlins Social Media Lounge asking me to hang out in a suite for the night, eating and drinking (mostly drinking) on their dime, the Marlins have been exceptionally gracious hosts.

It's only fair, then, that I at least try and repay the favor. Which is where you guys come in. Do you like going to Marlins games? Do you like making awkward small talk with strangers from the internet? Then, boy, do I have the event for you...

SCWS Presents: Snark at the Park

Next Friday, August 31st, SCWS and the Miami Marlins invite you to enjoy a baseball game with ME and a bunch of people you probably only know by their Twitter avatars. We'll laugh, we'll drink, we'll laugh some more, and then we'll relentlessly heckle John Buck until he homers and we all feel stupid.

"Wait, did you say Strip Club With Stanton AND the Marlins?!? Surely you jest!"

Jest, I do not! SCWS and the Marlins are teaming up on this one. For realzies!

Here's how it works: 

Just go to this site: (Yeah, I have my own link. I KNOW!) and follow the instructions at the bottom of the page.

We'll be sitting in the Lexus Legends Level, which is normally $45... but for you, it's just $25! (They're going for $35 on StubHub right now, so rest assured that you're getting a deal.) After you enter the coupon code and click through to the purchase page, you should be sitting in the lower portion of section 225. If it has you somewhere that's nowhere near that, just get in touch with me first and I'll try to sort it out. Either way, hit me up on Twitter (or by email) and let me know who and how many of you are going, so I can keep a running list.

***Lastly, and most importantly, I know it doesn't seem like it, but this is a pretty huge deal for the blog. If we can make this event a success, then that would, in all likelihood, increase the chances that the Marlins would be willing to do MORE stuff like this with us. Maybe even bigger events. Maybe with Austin Kearns! Your participation in THIS event could mean bigger and better things for you guys in the future. (I've got ideas in the works.) My goal when I began this blog was, ultimately, to make baseball even more fun for myself and for you, the readers, and this is a huge step in that direction. So, please, come out and help make this event a success, so that hopefully we'll all be invited back to terrorize the Marlins at future events!***


  1. Just purchased my tickets. Section 225. So, ya know, I'm confirmed. In case that was something you were worried about.

  2. I have just downloaded iStripper, so I can have the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.