Tuesday, September 4, 2012

SNARK AT THE PARK: SO MUCH DICKEY, SO LITTLE TIME

@itsCaro_ poses with @RickCedWhat's ball in her hands.

Welcome back from the holiday weekend. I hope you're all sober enough to pretend to work today while you're reading this Snark at the Park recap.

"Snark at the Park? Ohmigod, that's right! That was this weekend!"

Yep. Totally was. And (based on attendance numbers) you totally missed it. No worries, though. Let's show you what you missed and hopefully you'll realize that whatever you did wasn't nearly as awesome as the Maffio concert after the game.

For starters, thank you to Alex Buznego for being a gracious host. I'm not gonna lie, Alex has a difficult job; he's been the man responsible for attempting to bridge the gap between bloggers and the team they sort of cover between posting smarmy remarks on their Twitter accounts. He's done a great job all year, but never has he done something as awesome as helping to secure a John Buck baseball for the SCWS Snark at the Park giveaway.

Unfortunately, what Mr. Buznego is learning is that even though tickets were half price for Friday night's game, they weren't $3 on StubHub and/or they didn't come with free food and beer. It probably also didn't help that this was Game 132 of a season spent in last place. Plus, y'all are kinda cheap. I understand and I don't judge, but we can be honest around here. Twenty-five dollars (+ tax + parking + food) is a lot of money. I ain't mad atcha.

"Yeah, I mean, that is a lot of mon—wait, there was a John Buck ball giveaway?!?"

Why, yes, there certainly was!

And the winner of the John Buck autographed ball giveaway was @RickCedWhat,
who drove all the way down from Orlando to hang out with us, and probably lost his girlfriend in the process. This kind of dedication to the blog, along with being the hands-down winner of the Come Dressed as Your Twitter Avi Award, made Mr. CedWhat the obvious choice when deciding who should receive such a noteworthy prize.

"So, how many people showed up???"

I'll be honest, it wasn't a lot. But, it was definitely more than I expected. In total, probably 9 or 10. I'm probably being generous, too, counting significant others who were just dragged to this event, who had no idea who or what I was, but what would a baseball-themed event be without a little manipulation of attendance figures?

And, honestly, to the handful of people I met this weekend, I'd like to say thank you. You were all pretty cool and not at all strange, like I imagined. Maybe we'll do this again sometime. At a significantly lower price point.

"Who won?"

You don't care, but I'll tell you anyway.

I don't know. I think the Mets won. I think Dickey pitched a complete game. I think the whole thing lasted about an hour and thirty-seven minutes. I also think Alex Buznego came down to visit when I was still a little tipsy, so my apologies for anything I might've said. I also also think that some of us hung out after the game and watched Maffio perform his hit single, "You Mean This Isn't Pitbull?"

All in all, I'd have to declare the night a success. Lots of fun, lots of laughs, lots of Dickey.

COBRA DICKEY

Don't you wanna Dickey Wright?

That's a HUGE Dickey.

Looks like someone's reaching for the Dickey...

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