Tuesday, April 16, 2013

MARLINS OFFENSIVE OUTBURST!!1!

Three runs means we win, right?
The Marlins scored 3 runs last night. HUZZAH!
The Marlins gave up 10. Huzzah.

But, let's focus on the 3 for a minute, because numbers are fun.
  • This was just the fourth time all season that the Marlins scored more than 2 runs.
  • And why can't they score? Probably because the Marlins have the second fewest hits in Major League Baseball.
  • But, that's not the only reason. The Marlins are also tied for second to last in doubles. And dead last in hits that are anything but singles.
  • In fact, 78% of Marlins hits end with a runner standing on first base, waiting for the next batter to ground into a double play.
  • But wait, there's more. There are currently three teams with more home runs—Colorado (21), Oakland (20), and Atlanta (20)—than the Marlins have extra base hits.
  • The Marlins, as a team, have an OBP of .274, lowest in the Majors. Yunel Escobar, who stinks, has an OBP of .351.
And I didn't even compare the Marlins offensive numbers to John Buck's. There's enough sadness in the world right now.

Ya know what? Forget it. Allow me to cheer you up...


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